


dying high

by sailo_rjune



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game), Neon Genesis Evangelion, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, 戯言シリーズ - 西尾維新 | Zaregoto Series - Nisio Isin
Genre: Emo smut, M/M, Whippets, emOtionAl lvoe, end of the world AU, i am a slave to my kinks and eternally sorry, mention of cocaine lol, multifandom shitshow, post apocalyptic fucking in a car, the komahina/kawoshin is coming later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-15 04:27:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailo_rjune/pseuds/sailo_rjune
Summary: who knew the apocalypse would be this fun





	1. dying high

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit. um so this is my one komahina fic that isn't taking place in the hinata-kun au fyi

 

 

This was the first time Em had done anything like this for Saeran. Well in Saeran’s opinion, everything Em gave him was hotter than anything he had ever experienced in his life. And like. Saeran had been around the fucking block ok. Em got to him like nothing he had EVER known was possible.

 

 

 

Em had fucked him raw, left him out to dry, and fucked him again. He would find places to lock him up and make Saeran his fucking slave. It wasn’t verbal. It wasn’t emotional. It wasn’t overtly mean. It was the way Em expertly handled him _physically_ , pushing him around firmly until he liked where Saeran’s body fell under him. So far _below_ him. Sometimes it felt like the floor was falling out from under him, and he could honestly care less.

 

 

Em always prepared him…but it didn’t mean that Em had any sort of lack of libido or stamina. It was exhaustingly the opposite. Sometimes they’d return to their camp with Saeran dangerously dehydrated, half starved and completely unable to walk. And he had been intoxicated on nothing but Em the whole time, consenting full force to everything.

 

 

So the fact that Em was down there. With his lips and tongue moving _expertly_ up and down his painfully hard dick was more than he could take.

 

 

It was easy for him to see why Em was doing this to him though. Saeran was driving a cop car they jacked through the broken wasteland of a city they called home. He couldn’t have exerted any kind of control if he wanted to. Em had told him, _“Whatever I do, don’t stop the car. Don’t crash. Don’t talk. Don’t touch me. Don’t come until I let you.”_ Em was ruling over him like the royal prince he was, every fucking time.

 

 

Saeran had never even once suspected that this was how things would pan out back when Em kept him pining and begging like a dog. A dog that he shunned and ridiculed on a nearly hourly basis prior to the time when Saeran finally convinced  him to let him take him out on a _‘date.’_

 

 

He was forever in complete disbelief at the thoughts he had held at the time. He took Em to a room in a skyscraper where the outer wall had completely fell away. He could still see Em sitting on the mattress below him, bathed in dawn as Saeran stripped for him, fully intending to attempt to fuck him when he was done. _So stupid_.

 

 

Em shoved him onto his back as soon as he touched the mattress and blew his fucking mind with the things he knew how to do to Saeran’s surprised but ultimately willing body.

 

 

When all was revealed for what it clearly was, Saeran was utterly warped by what Em had done to him. Nothing but _this_ would ever suffice for the rest of his god damn life.

 

 

As such, Saeran couldn’t control himself despite all of Em’s very _clear_ instructions. He came in under a minute, completely unexpectedly. Em had somehow known though, and popped off and away at the last second.

 

 

Saeran was gasping and coming all over himself and even the steering wheel. _Even the fucking windshield_ took some of his hot load that shot out of him like nothing he had ever felt before. Even though it was short lived, Em was sooo good. _Oh. My.God. He was good_.

 

 

He was the _best_. And this wasn’t even the result of Saeran’s undying bias. Or the nonstop edging Em was intent on tormenting him with on the reg. If Em had done this on day one, Saeran would have still known right then that it was the best he had ever could have had.

 

 

By the time Em finally let Saeran fuck him, incidentally in the back seat of this same appropriated po car…(which Saeran was _very_ careful _not_ to crash in the short lived and completely unexpected act of oral) Saeran actually _cried_. It was like all the rain falling loudly on the car’s roof was perfectly matching his inner storm of emotion that came unbidden unto his whole being.

 

 

He couldn’t remember crying since his parents died when he was seven years old. He hadn’t lived a painful life. He was never abused. He was never traumatized. He had always had his basic needs and even an abundance of _wants_ granted in the care his older brother Kaworu had selflessly given to both him and his twin, Komaeda. And yet the tears wouldn’t stop for any futile effort he so desperately tried and failed to muster.

 

 

 _He tried to last_. Maybe the crying and the emotional flood that accompanied it could help him last a _little_ longer. Not _that_ much longer though, if he was being completely honest with himself. And this was a profoundly honest moment for him. Here, with Em. Em who was finally all his. Like he had dreamed of constantly from the first time he caught sight of him on that hill where he and Komaeda were laughing and blowing shit up so long ago.

 

 

Em was soaked in his hot tears below him. Saeran’s legs were way too long to be doing it like this, in a cramped backseat of a car. But he didn’t care in the least. Just like everything with Em. By now he was addicted to the pain Em gave him as much as he was to the brief and fleeting tenderness that the boy under him would show him so infrequently that it might as well have been pain. _It was too much_.

 

 

 _Fuck_. Em looked _so_ _fucking beautiful_ under him.

 

 

The smaller boy’s light brown hair had grown even longer since they first met. It fell back away from Em’s gorgeous face, gently swaying with each of Saeran’s slow and deep thrusts into his incredible tight warmth.

 

 

His large, impossibly _golden_ eyes, framed in twin fans of long black lashes pierced Saeran to the core, never letting him go. **_They never have let me go_**. Em’s eyes were the first thing that Saeran had noticed about him. Over the months that had passed since then, Saeran could even see them in his mind every time he closed his eyes. He loved them so much that it hurt.

 

 

Eyes roaming lower, Saeran caught sight of Em’s piercings through his perfect tight pink buds and they were as delicate and alluring as they were the first day he had ever seen them. Presently, he didn’t even try to touch them, simply because he had never explicitly been _allowed_ to yet.

 

 

To Saeran, there was something undeniably holy about every part of Em. He would never do anything he wasn’t clearly granted verbal permission to do to his lover. It was a combination of Saeran’s utter reverence for him and the undefined, _unbreakable_ hold Em had over the taller boy.

 

 

Em was so close to him that Saeran could have sworn that he could see the grays and blues of the cloudy sky above the back window reflecting in the little silver balls on each tiny ring.

 

 

Saeran had his pierced too, but the sight of Em’s twin rings did something that fucked him up inside. He couldn’t _ever_ help remembering how he literally prematurely ejaculated just at the _sight_ of them in the pool when he first saw them. It had just been so unexpected. Em had never gotten in the water with the other boys before that day. Saeran came in his shorts five feet away from Em without so much as a glance let alone a touch to do that shit to him.

 

 

He had known at the time that he had a massive crush on Em. But that moment alone should have set off some kind of internal alarm warning him… _warning_ him of how Em would come to almost cruelly affect him.

 

 

Tearing his eyes from Em’s chest, he could see the ghost of his tattoo curving around onto the boy’s hip. This part of it had always unfairly been a tease compared to the entirety of the intricate work of art currently pressed against the leather seat. It put Saeran’s tattoo to shame and fucking floored him the first time he had seen it. The sheer detail must have taken over a year to complete. The pain of its intense pattern might have been something even Saeran could not have endured. Even through his tears, Saeran’s mouth twitched up into a fond smile directed to where his thumb pressed into what he could see of Em’s tattoo in his desperate grip on this curve between the boy’s waist and hip.

 

 

The thought of what it would be like if Em was flipped over with the beautiful indigo art that covered his entire back on full display below him was driving Saeran fucking insane. A lustful hope filled him, telling him that Em would maybe, _potentially_ , _possibly_ let Saeran do this to him at least once more. _Like that._

 

The infinitesimal space between that thought and the subsequent visual of Em hard and leaking in his own delicate hand, perfectly matching Saeran’s rolling hips is what ultimately broke him. It took a mere second of watching _Em’s hand tightly around his own dick_ , (with one graceful fingertip deliberately rubbing a slow circle in the mess of precum around the tip) to rip a groan directly out of Saeran’s throat. The heat in the pit of his lower stomach perfectly crashed and snapped like a bursting dam. Saeran Choi’s hot unsolicited seed came shooting out of him.

 

 

And _oh my god_ , the feeling of it filling Em’s perfect tight hole was so fucking glorious that Saeran swore he saw stars in this blessed moment.

 

 

 _Moments_. He rode these out softly, whimpering, an emotional wreck.

 

 

Every single short minute of fucking Em had sequentially and infinitely been the most significant thing that had ever happened to Saeran. He didn’t want it to end. But he knew full well that he was not prepared at all for any of this. Certainly not enough to brazenly expect himself to sustain it for any longer than it had lasted.

 

 

Em wasn’t lying that day when he finally, _finally_ let Saeran kiss him. Saeran Choi could _not_ handle Em. The boy’s cold words to him in that moment had burned a scar in his heart that persisted in making Saeran come to Em over and over again.

 

 

Too messed up to even be embarrassed about it, Saeran sobbed loudly as he pulled out.

 

 

_What has this boy done to me?_

 

Saeran was the first to admit that he was a fuckboi through and through. Before Em came into his world and turned it upside down.

 

 

Saeran had always been the heartbreaker. He had always been the one leading partners around like puppets on strings, only to drop them in a broken heap as soon as he was bored. Which happened _very_ quickly.

 

 

He had never even _experienced_ being so worked up and expertly tempered before this ‘relationship _.’ Em was poison_. A sweet, _sweet_ poison that filled his soul until it was bursting. And he _was_ bursting. Every kind of strong emotion Em called up in him was flowing out of Saeran in all of his shaking and ugly crying.

 

 

As unexpected as the fucking had been, Em pulled him down onto his small chest. Held him there. He even lowly hummed some sickly beautiful tune Saeran had never heard and kissed him tenderly, brushing his white sweat damp hair back out of his eyes. He wiped Saeran’s endless tears away, not moving an inch or speaking a word for the longest time.

 

 

God he loved this boy. He loved him _so fucking much_. He had thought Em had thoroughly broken him long before this. How wrong he had been. This complete closeness Em was granting his undeserving being with…it filled Saeran and broke him wide open in a way that he never saw coming.

 

 

Em was the highest angel and the lowest demon all in one. Saeran would never get enough of him. Never tire of his unique blend of hard and soft love. Even if Em would never say that it was love. Or maybe he would eventually say those three words and break him open into oblivion, Saeran couldn’t rightly say. He couldn’t rightly _think_ right now. His shoulders shook as he shuddered with these thoughts against the smaller boy’s warmth under him.

 

 

 _The smaller boy under him_. Em was slight, a full foot shorter than Saeran, and nearly fifty pounds lighter. And here was Saeran, crying like a dying child after topping. It was bizarre. This was not how things were supposed to go during and after fucking a much smaller and so exquisitely feminine looking boy. Or so Saeran had so wrongly thought all of his post adolescent life. This boy was going to kill him and he’d jump over that cliff with a heart full of pure joy when the time came. Em owned him, body, heart and soul.

 

 

 

Saeran’s crying died down after what felt like forever. Em had never held him this long before. Not even half as long as what this had been. Em was heaven, earth and the deepest hell Saeran could have ever asked for in this life, the apparent depth of which he could have never even entertained in his wildest dreams.

 

 

They were the same age. Born within days of each other eighteen years ago. But none of that meant anything when Saeran contemplated the nature of their relationship in his new found silence permeated by Em’s calming heartbeat under his ear. They weren’t just worlds apart in terms of what they were capable of inflicting on one another. _They were infinite universes away_. Saeran was steadily dying high and he knew it.

 


	2. dying even higher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk what to say for myself
> 
> anime boys distract me and i love them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading

 

 

 

The _hot, **pretty**_ tall boy with the asymmetric pistachio colored hair was kissing Saeran while his shorter raven haired boyfriend was all over Em. With his whole _cute_ body. They could have had the same eye colour. Well. At least on one side of Em. The side that was not covered by his long thick bangs.

 

 

Saeran was almost jealous. Hooking up with this boy who was as tall as him and had eyes like swamps was for Em’s benefit. _Because he fucking wanted to see it_. It made Saeran smile as he softly bit down on the boy’s pierced earlobe, making an unexpectedly soft moan resound from the boy’s throat. He didn’t even know when he started preferring shorter boys so this was mildly nostalgic for him. The guy was fucking hot despite everything. Saeran bit his bottom lip. He could enjoy this.

 

 

 _As long as Em is here. As long as he wants this_.

 

 

Saeran could never say no to any sign of want in Em’s eyes. This was an unwritten law of the universe, obviously.

 

 

Em and Saeran kept making eye contact between the others’ advances and Em’s stare was provocative mischief laced with lust meeting Saeran’s with only adoration and questions bleeding out in that undeservedly innocent green, _green_ framed in long white lashes.

 

 

Anyone in the world would think that Saeran Choi was fucking beautiful. It only fueled Em’s gigantic ego to show him off in front of these pretty boys they brought up here. _Like this_. _With his ass up and **that** **look** on his face_.

 

 

They’re getting intimately acquainted with these boys they found stealing coke from an abandoned warehouse in the former _‘bad side of town.’_

 

 

 _Could it even be considered stealing anymore?_ The world went to hell. Meeting _anyone_ else in this wasteland was rare enough. And it was admittedly a smart move on their part. Whenever the world started turning again, these boys they picked up were building a fucking empire from which they fully planned on ruling from the top.

 

 

 

 _Shit_. One thing that hadn’t changed was the fact that connections fucking _matter_ in life. Allying with these dudes was something they were all going for.

 

 

Anyway, none of that mattered right now.

 

 

Turns out they were freaks just like Em and Saeran.

 

 

This was sort of a fucking orgy, after all.

 

 

Em leans over to the taller stranger and softly says, _“he’s good at bottoming...”_ He turned to Saeran then. The boy was flushed and so hot. _Worked up. **Ready**_. Em let this information contort his face in a way that made Saeran forget every existence except **_Em_**. _“Aren’t you, darling?”_

Saeran’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. The boy making out with him was getting weirded out but no one else in the room gave a shit. The thin black haired boy was pressed against Em, moving his lips right against his ear and Saeran watched Em break out in a beautiful smile and turn over under him. Their third boyfriend, the short one with long purple hair and milky skin was still going with it, grinding on Saeran’s barely clothed ass…as Saeran sat there motionless on top of the green haired boy, staring across the small space at his _‘lover.’_

 

 

Em had never called him anything but idiot and dumbass and very, _very_ fucking rarely, by his actual name. Usually when he was coming inside him.

 

 

 _No fucking way_. Saeran’s brain was short circuiting. _Darling??_

 

 

Em cruelly let the strangers fuck him. All three of them. He had never let Saeran do that, and tonight was no different.

_Yet_. Em knew it was a matter of _‘yet.’_

 

 

Unfortunately Saeran did not.

 

 

At any rate, the three strangers got some kind of great show out of watching Em fuck Saeran into the mattress where Em was using precious fucking batteries to run a vibrator up and down his dick the whole time.

 

 

It was the way Saeran writhed.

 

 

He writhed like a kid in love.

 

 

And Em shoved Saeran’s face down flat, grinding into him hard, planting his face at the back of the boy’s neck only to firmly whisper, _“Don’t come,”_ against the goosebumps there.

 

 

So basically it was fucking torture. Saeran wanted to show off how good he had gotten at this shit. The part where Saeran held out for fucking ever, but Em was being especially attentive to all of his most sensitive spots and talking down to him and _ugh_.

_Fucking impossible._

 

 

It was even more than that. This ‘torture’ ran deep between them. Em was doing every fucking thing Saeran knew about and hadn’t yet realized, that uh, made him want to come so bad he was actually _crying_. The hot tears silently fell from the corners of his eyes against his will.

 

 

Em was fucking him deep, hard, way too slowly for either of their true intentions and then pulling out right before he could barely take it anymore, getting Saeran nearly screaming into the sheets…The shorter boy with his brown hair hanging over his blue eye would run his hands over him, the parts that weren’t terribly sensitive but still in a way that kept Saeran softly whimpering and hard as a rock.

 

 

The vibrator followed this convoluted _‘pattern’_ very well, held in Em’s long delicate fingers.

 

 

With his other graceful hand, he’d use his two middle fingers to sink into Saeran’s loosened warmth. Just cruelly and _barely brushing_ the edges of his cum button. Yes, Saeran had all kinds of lame names that he faithfully kept to himself for everything sexual.

 

 

He totally got off on how Em knew the shape of his insides so well.

 

 

Then he would go back to fucking him into the mattress, Saeran pliant and harshly moaning below him.

 

 

Saeran’s balls were hurting and he didn’t even have a cockring on.

_Fuck_.

 

 

Em’s hold over Saeran Choi was real. It always had been.

 

 

Em finally brought the vibrator up over Saeran’s pierced nipples getting some very interesting noises out of the _beautiful_ taller boy with the wavy pink and white hair.

 

 

The full moonlight bouncing off those waves almost made it look translucent. _Ugh_.

_You can be my Moon, boy and I can be your Ocean._

 

 

Sinking into him was probably the best fuck Em had ever had. Saeran had a beautiful ass. It sucked him in perfectly and held every curve of his body inside and out. _Fucking gorgeous_. Pressing against Saeran’s firm and _shapely_ ass was giving Em an involuntary shudder that ran down his whole sweating back, curling his hips back and forth deep inside him as he stared down at the other boy.

_The way you look at me._

_The way you **always** fucking look at me._

 

 

And those eyes. Like a tropical ocean on acid.

 

 

Em was as enthralled with Saeran as Saeran was with him, it was just that Em had a face of pure stone and a mouth that never said anything but bitterness and orders.

_“Kiss me.”_

 

 

Saeran did everything Em asked him to in bed…this was both an easy yet difficult thing for him. He wanted to, fuck yes, he wanted to.

_But Em’s kisses are like poison. Like you actually die and then you go to heaven until he’s done with you. Then you can jack off to it for the rest of your life_. _They’re **blinding**_.

 

 

Luckily he wasn’t the one making this decision. He moved forward, turning around and lifted himself up until he was on his knees, a mirror image against the other boy.

 

 

Straightening his back made him so much taller than Em. Their eyes were locked, pale electric jade to _bright_ golden brass and sky blue.

 

 

Saeran gently took Em’s hair by the back of his head and lowered down to kneeling, eyes trailing to end up level with Em’s chest with his hands slipping down to his fucking gorgeous waist.

 

 

That fucking tattoo. _That shit is going to kill me some day_.

_“What, you want to kiss me other places?”_ Em was talking down to him condescendingly again and he really didn’t like it but he knew he would eventually crack this harsh invisible thing Em had that hurt to look at.

_Never letting his guard down. Never truly feeling._

_It’s such bullshit._

 

 

Saeran also knew full well that he wanted this. He wanted to run his lips up, breathing out on the curve of Em’s waist. To feel how smooth and warm it was.

 

 

To scrape his tongue over Em’s nipples.

 

 

He never let Saeran do it before.

 

 

Like touch his nipples. At all.

 

 

Saeran was going for it. He didn’t give a fuck. He gripped Em’s hips hard enough to get a moan out of him, holding him there rigidly, laving all of his hot wet tongue over Em’s silver rings. The tiny ones in each bud with the matching silver balls. He was being sloppy about this because he was fully expecting Em to tell him to get the fuck off, but that’s not what happened. Saeran tentatively looked up to find the other boy with his head tilted back, biting his lip.

_Ahahaha. Oh my god_. Saeran was going a little off the deep end, mentally. So naturally he started palming the other boy at the same time as he started biting and pulling Em’s piercings.

 

 

This was what got him swatted away.

 

 

Em was like sunshine. The kind you need to live off of once you taste it.

_So if that bright, enveloping feeling slaps you occasionally, that’s ok. If it drags you into a fucking wild and suffocating kiss after that, forcefully by like all of your hair with both of its hands, that is ok too_.

 

 

Em was always no nonsense. So quick to pleasure. Saeran was melting. Em was collapsing astride Saeran’s lap, bringing their bodies close together.

 

 

The shorter boy had Saeran by every bit of his annoying and _soft_ white hair he could reach. Flowing in that _pretty_ bright pink gradient to the tips repeatedly slipping between his fingers _._

_He’s so fucking **hot**. And so **stupid**. And **beautiful**._

****

****

**_Stupidly beautiful_ ** _. God damn it._

 

 

Em wanted to be sweet to Saeran, but he didn’t know how. Em held a shameful feeling of wanting to protect the taller, longer, paler, smoother, pretty, fucking _pretty_ **_SAERAN_**.

 

 

Em even loved his fucking name. From day one.

 

 

Maybe Em would tell him that on his birthday or some shit.

 

 

Definitely not right now.

_This kiss goes out to all the homos who died for us to meet here_. _Me and this gorgeous asshole between my legs_.

 

 

And he meant it.

 

 

Em destroyed Saeran’s lips in a teasing symphony that outright drowned him. He never let him breathe, but it was not at all unpleasant, it was kind of deceptively gentle and then you realize that you have been dangerously holding in your breath like you’re under a goddamn spell. You don’t even notice it until your body’s evolutionary systems alert you to a very justified, _“What the fuck.”_ And then you finally fucking breathe, but he’s just there smiling against your lips _. It’s fucked_. Then he does it again and again and you never get bored of it. Like ever. He doesn’t let you. Right when you want more than you can bear, he pulls away for like two to four days and it’s a completely different kind of torture. So when Em is kissing you, you kiss back.

_Hard_. **_And Deep_**.

 

 

Saeran was drowing in all of this and he never wanted to find his footing or air again. These connected moments were practically considered holy to Saeran.

 

 

And yeah, these fucks are getting a show. Em and Saeran hadn’t forgotten about the three boys who were doing equally erotic things to each other on their own bed next to them. Seeing them out of the corners of their eyes and hearing the noises they were making in plain view was only adding to whatever was washing over them right now.

 

 

Em’s hand fell down, lightly running straight down the middle of Saeran’s chest, in the dip of his toned stomach, straight down to curl around his dick. It was shamefully _covered_ in leaking precum, soaking wet under his fingers.

 

 

Em had already pulled back to flip his head back, soft brown hair swinging away from his face to reveal both of those eyes that killed Saeran.

 

 

Em’s hand was still loosely gripped around the base of Saeran’s painfully hard dick. Saeran was so hot against his hand.

 

 

It was time to end this torture. Saeran had been so good. So obedient. Even though so very few words had passed between them since they fell onto their make-shift bed.

 

~ ~ ~

 

When the other boys were having their way with them earlier, Saeran and Em had been side by side, faces pressed into the mattress as they were simultaneously being fucked into it. Saeran wouldn’t stop looking at him. So Em met his gaze there stubbornly, smirking at him and letting him know how hot he looked with only the glint in his mismatched eyes. It was silently this incredible build up and a joint resolute determination not to climax until they gave it to each other. Saeran did this because he knew Em too well by now. He did this by his own determination.

 

 

Em never meant it to be that way. He was quite excited to bottom again for once, and practically planning on coming all over this kid’s hand that was _expertly_ jacking him off while he fucked him so _fucking good_. Em was _having a goddamn **moment**_ realizing that it wasn’t enough for him. Everything felt amazing and electrically _bad_. Morally. Which made it so _good_ …these things they were doing that no one else would ever know about.

 

 

_It should have been enough._

 

 

He had to physically strain his face not to give any of this away. To make it seem intentional. To do his best to continue what he had built between himself and those beautiful green eyes boring into him.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Presently, Em was thinking that Saeran was doing a damn good job of handling his innate perversity. The boy wouldn’t leave him alone. So Em had spent these last few weeks training him and molding him to his needs. These totally fucked needs that had never really been this satisfied before. Not before this asshole bowing before him. Flushed wet lips parted, eyes full of begging and fucking worship.

_I might love you, Saeran Choi._

 

 

Em’s facade broke to the level of him sucking his bottom lip in to bite it. It quickly turned into a perfectly illuminated and fucking devilish smirk. His bright heterochromatic eyes squinted as his head cocked to one side.

 

 

Visibly licking all along his bottom lip for Saeran to see, Em tightened his grip in both Saeran’s hair and around his dick, pulling up and down his length in something that was far too languid.

 

 

Em hadn’t come yet either. Saeran’s eyes kind of bulged when Em widened his grip to include his own erection in what he was _doing_ … _fuck_.

 

 

That’s when Em went crazy on him. Leaning down to press his forehead into Saeran’s hair, holding him there while he rocked up into that tight grip around their connected lengths.

 

 

Em was _sweetly_ _grunting_ and letting his voice get cut off somewhere in his throat, hitched and hot and needy and fucking music in Saeran’s ears.

 

 

If Em was a pleaser, which he was not in the immediate sense of that concept, he would have given Saeran everything that Saeran Choi’s dick loved. But instead he was just pleasuring himself against the boy’s boner.

 

 

Sex with Em was always all about Em.

 

 

Like Saeran even cared.

 

 

He could come just off the noises Em was making. The way the hair at the back of his head was being painfully pulled between the boy’s fingers. The way Em’s nails dug against his scalp until they were surely bending backwards with that fucking pressure he could feel there.

 

 

The fact that the smaller boy was rutting against his hard on was like, _way_ too much. How he had Saeran’s head forcefully turned down to take in the entire fucking view of _everything_ … ** _jesus_**.

 

 

Beads of sweat had made glistening trails down both of them, all over their bodies and the heat between them was something real and inescapable to feel. It radiated through them and connected them. This was Saeran’s heaven.

 

 

Saeran knew that however close he got, even if Em screamed his full name and came in a hot mess all over Saeran’s chest…fuck, right onto his face at _this_ _angle_ …Saeran wouldn’t come until Em _let_ him. Or at least he’d try. His track record was not great even though he’d like to think he was improving. _Fuck_. He’d do _anything_ for this gorgeous boy.

 

 

Em didn’t end up screaming his name, but he did press Saeran’s face even lower to _cover_ it with his come when it came.

 

 

Em was always addicted to that coiling mess that exploded inside of him right before it all came in a rush throughout his body.

 

 

He laughed while painting Saeran’s face in his pleasure.

 

 

Still in a daze…the kind only Saeran could give him, he gently pushed the other boy back and followed him down to dip his face below his jaw to press a firm soft kiss against his throat. Feeling his racing pulse under the warm skin below his lips made him close his eyes and hold his breath, fully out of view of the wrecked boy below him.

_Not yet._

 

 

Em was truly scared of Saeran ever finding out how fucking much he affected him. Making his chest squeeze at his devotion. Making his dick constantly twitch every goddamn day with the way he looked at him and laughed beautifully in daylight surrounded by wreckage and emptiness.

_No way._

 

 

Anyway it wasn’t the time for that. He allowed himself to open his mouth, still fully connected to Saeran’s throat, to taste the salt and the skin there.

 

 

The feeling of Em’s tongue, cool and wet against his skin made Saeran shiver, _hard_. He was practically dying at this point but still fully at the mercy of this devil-angle that had him pinned in dirty sheets.

 

 

When Em sank his teeth in, Saeran felt a groan ripped from deep inside of him. Em laughed and sat up to face him.

 

 

Em continued to ignore Saeran’s dick completely, reaching over him into his discarded jacket’s pocket to pull out a cigarette and a lighter. He just nonchalantly sat on Saeran’s lap, using both hands to light up, slowly drag and slowly exhale while staring out at the blacked out city.

 

 

They were in their fuck spot that was _high_ _up_ in this former giant capitalist banking skyscraper. The bombs from that day had seriously brought the stability of the whole thing into question, but they liked it. It was dangerous and fragile like both of them. And the view was fucking incredible. No ceiling, and no walls on two sides.

 

 

Em turned to look down, that silky molten hair falling down again. Blocking out the bottomless blue. Leaving Saeran to stare up at the golden sea that was his right eye. The sea where tiny flecks of pale green ran throughout…Em’s eyes had never stopped mesmerizing Saeran.

 

 

The faint freckles on Em’s cheeks could barely be made out against the pale light. They curved in blended morphing constellations when Em smiled. Like he was doing right now, fucking beautifully.

 

 

Slowly, not letting Saeran look away, Em threw the lighter down to the side and finally, _maybe_ took pity on him.

 

 

He touched him lazily at first, just running the flat of his palm against the underside of his hard dick, pressing it down into his lower stomach. It was clumsy, uncoordinated and Em chuckled between drags, just ashing to the side, right onto their bed.

 

 

This bed wasn’t for sleeping anyway. It was for degrading Saeran, even though Saeran was apparently impervious to letting it turn out that way.

 

 

Saeran was special. Em wrapped his fingers around him then, but he still took it slowly. Dragging out Saeran’s pleasure was what he was fucking good at.

 

 

The boy never held it against him, no matter what he put him through. It satisfied Em on a primal level. Something dark inside of him that might never go away. A need for superiority and pain. Saeran loved it though. That’s why he was special.

 

 

Truthfully it was more than that, but Em held those thoughts under layers and layers of other things he intentionally piled on top of them daily out of fear. But focusing on Saeran’s stupidity could only go so far, especially like this. He looked like a fucking doll, covered in cum and moonlight and just like glowing and waiting and not expecting shit.

****

****

**_God_ ** _. This is fucking perfect._

 

 

The cig was two thirds done, but Em threw it to the side where it bounced to a stop along that kind of carpet that was just laid over concrete. The kind that hurt to fall on and get dragged against. Things he had very recently done to Saeran with a smile on his face.

 

 

Neither of them watched it burn a hole through the carpet when Em reached down with his hand that smelled like an ashtray to crudely wipe across Saeran’s face.

 

 

Hand full of his own cum that may or may not have been fully swiped right into Saeran’s eyes, Em brought it down in a messy trail down the boy’s firm sides, pooling it along his V line and using the last bit of it as the most glorious lube in both of their debased minds.

 

 

Em thought, _why not?_ when he deftly moved himself down to lather Saeran’s cock in a mess of his cum and Saeran’s precum, then pulling Saeran’s hard length right between his soft lips into the back of his throat and _oh my **god;** this was the second time **ever**_ Em had gone down on Saeran.

_fuck fuck fucckkkk_

 

 

Saeran was praying to every fucking deity in existence to _last_ even if it was a fraction of a second longer than last time. But his mind was a fucking utter disarray of physical pleasure taking over everything and Em’s mouth was **_soft_** _and **wet** and **sucking him** **in**._

_Over and **over** and **over**._

 

 

The noises were shameless and _squelching_. Em had cum all over his fucking lips and Saeran’s eyes were burning, literal huge tears clouding his vision, but he kept his eyes locked on this fucking _beautiful_ novelty.

 

 

Em was _great_ at giving head, but his purposely sloppy shit right now was driving Saeran mad _. Like right crazy_.

****

****

**_“Emmm!!”_** The boy’s name came torn out of Saeran’s throat when Em sucked him right down his hot tight throat and then sloppily let him go only to swirl his pierced tongue right around the head. When his tongue ring harshly clinked against Saeran’s dick piercing the first time, Saeran scream-moaned incomprehensibly, followed by deep breathy gasps and lilting, _desperate_ whimpers into his arms thrown over his head. He thrusted up into that wet heat letting all the electric waves crash and break him down to nothing.

 

 

_Oh my **fucking** god._

 

 

Saeran was done, man, fucking _done_.

 

 

And _oh god, Em was just taking it_. Not letting it fly _everywhere but **on** him,_ like _last_ time.

 

 

Saeran was stuttering praises and apologies and his eyes were on fire with pain while his dick was pulsing and releasing into Em’s sweet little _beautiful_ fucking mouth. Freckles arched, piercing _golden_ eye, both of their cum inside and out of him. Eyelashes for days and fucking everything Saeran loved all at once.

 

 

Saeran’s vision went pure white in the middle of peaking through his arms at the beautiful boy _expertly_ sucking him off, rightly like it was the end of the fucking world and he thought, _this would be a good time to die._

 

 

Death was something they faced every single day in that shithole down there. The world was nothing like it had been before.

 

 

Both of them were fucking ecstatic about that in their own ways. Em was a straight nihilist and Saeran had never been on the ‘good’ side of society. And they both knew that they would have never, _ever_ found each other back there, in that other kind of shithole.

 

 

They were a fucking mess of cum and sweat and Saeran’s stupid tears, and the nearest working showers were a mile away but their minds were too blissed out at the moment. Em was pulling back, swallowing and not even disgusted. Saeran loved this about him. Em was probably the dirtiest and certainly the most sadistic person he had ever fucked. The happy sigh that came out of Saeran’s deep breathing couldn’t have been held in if he tried.

 

 

Em threw a towel at him as he fell back beside the other boy. Both of them were panting and in their come up to reality, the cold was finally edging into their consciousnesses. Their breath and even their bodies were emitting visible steam into the November wind.

 

 

Saeran just let the rigid towel lie against half of his face, sticking there to the remaining bits of Em’s drying cum.

 

 

Months of this kind of shit let them both know in their hearts that this wasn’t just fucking. No matter how fucked up it was. They had both crept into each other and there was no going back.

 

 

Neither of them had ever loved anyone before. And this wasn’t some kind of oh you’re the last man on earth kind of shit.

 

 

This was perfect and felt like fate. This was their world and their fucked up love and their _hot, **brutal** sex_.

 

 

Em did something completely weird then. He rolled over, grabbing and flinging the towel somewhere down by their feet. Not even making eye contact, he lifted Saeran’s limp arm and curled his body around his side, lying on his _chest_.

 

 

Saeran couldn’t breathe.

**_What the fuck is this?_ **

 

 

Saeran had barely any mind left to lose at this point but yea it was escaping his grasp. Everything was swirling into something he couldn’t make sense of if he wanted to. Which he didn’t. This was not something to question.

 

 

Em’s last action before utter stillness was to find one of the random unzipped sleeping bags at the edge of their fuck nest where he pulled it up over both of them. It was not long enough to cover Saeran’s feet, but he was hardly concerned with that. Both of them knew that _that_ was the last thing on Saeran’s mind right now.

 

 

Saeran tentatively brought his arms around Em and when there was no _‘tch,’_ no pushing away, no _resistance_ , Saeran felt like he could kind of breathe again. How long had he craved this? Fucking forever?

 

 

He took it a step further. Turning to the other boy, he wrapped himself around him, intertwining the smaller boys soft thighs between his own, cradling Em’s head in his arms.

 

 

It felt audacious after everything, to bring his hand up to stroke Em’s cheek. Was he actually asleep? In Saeran’s arms? _This is fucking **wonderful**_. If there was a pillow to scream in and not four other people in the room, Saeran would have been all over that kind of juvenile thing right now.

 

 

This was the most couple-y thing that had ever passed between them and Saeran was fucking milking it for every goddamn cent. He didn’t sleep that night. God knows what would happen tomorrow or the day after, or at any point in their _assuredly_ _fucked_ _up_ futures. This night had become something incredible.

 

 

He held Em to his chest and kept him warm, breathing in his scent at the top of his head. It had always been fucking intoxicating to Saeran. Em’s smell was heaven and it was right there for the taking for almost four hours until dawn began creeping over them and Em pushed him away telling him he was disgusting in a groggily raspy and teasing voice.

 

 

Saeran just hid a little smile and slid out of the sleeping bag to get dressed. It was time to parkour seventy two floors back down to earth and race him through broken streets to a stolen breakfast and showers and back to their families.

 

 

He couldn’t see it, but Em was also smiling to himself with his back turned to dress as he let his shirt slip down over his tattoo that Saeran made sure to stare at as long as possible until it disappeared. _Ugh_.

 

 

Until next time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u got this far i just love u ok


	3. first kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> save me from this hell
> 
> nvm
> 
> this is fine

 

 

 

“I know you came.” Em said with his classic smirk and black sunglasses reflecting a shocked Saeran in each lens, so even he can see how pathetic he looks right now.

 

 

“What?? _How?”_ Saeran sputtered, with absolutely no dignity to hold onto in sight.

 

 

“Do you not even know what kinds of sounds you make when you come?”

 

 

  _Ah. There it is_. Em’s condescending rhetorical questions.

 

 

“Huh?” It came out of Saeran’s mouth before he fully comprehended what the fuck just happ--

 

 

“Your eyes rolled back, you moaned super loud and then climbed out of the pool and ran into the bathroom. Fucking loser.”

_Fuck_.

 

 

He didn’t even hear the last part. His mind was spinning horribly around the first part as his palm slowly found its way to cover his whole face.

 

 

Saeran had honestly blacked out and found himself in the very back stall cleaning his whole dick and balls off with toilet paper that was annoyingly breaking apart the whole time because his hands were wet.

_Well, shit_.

 

 

Em snorted then, fully thinking Saeran Choi was probably the least functional adult he had ever met.

_But he’s hot_.

 

 

The corners of Em’s lips twitched upwards. He looked over the boy in front of him in what he hoped was a genuinely convincing façade of disgust.

_Yeah. Saeran is fucking gorgeous._

_But a complete moron._

 

 

As soon as Saeran dropped his hand to tentatively look back at Em, an empty water bottle hit him in the chest and he fumbled around before getting a firm grip on it.

_“Fill me up, Saeran.”_ Em said in his sweet smoky voice...looking up at Saeran from under his glasses, through dark lashes, blinking slowly letting it all turn into a _very_ pretty smile when he saw Saeran’s jaw drop.

_Jesus christ_. To Saeran, the statement and tone went straight to his dick and a furious blush filled his face as he practically sprinted to the water fountain even though it was only like ten feet away.

 

 

To Em…he knew how it affected the other boy. That’s why he did it…but this kind of thing had only started ‘happening’ very recently. Some point after the last time they came to the pool. Em started kind of flirting, but cruelly. Saying suggestive things, not even hiding that he knew what kind of shit he was saying. This same expression smeared across his face, lips parted, staring straight at Saeran through every syllable.

 

 

When Saeran turned around with the full water bottle he squeaked and almost dropped it because Em was right there next to him. Still fucking shirtless.

 

 

Saeran held out the bottle with his eyes shut tightly. This was not his fucking vibe at all. Saeran thought for the twentieth or fiftieth time today that _he_ should have had this little shit wrapped around _his_ finger by now but here he is. _Like this_. In quite the opposite situation.

 

 

He felt Em take the bottle from him right before he _definitely_ felt the boy kick him sharply in the shin.

 

 

Saeran’s bright green eyes flew open as he tried to yelp a very justified, ‘whAt the fUCK’…but Em had the boy’s mouth completely covered with his little hand.

 

 

His smooth, delicate, cool, wet _hand_.

 

 

Saeran went wide eyed. At like everything that just happened. Including the fact that Em had tossed his sunglasses somewhere, because they were nowhere in sight. The boy had swept his brown hair all the way back and Saeran watched as all of it fell stick straight across his eyes again. He thought his heart was about to beat right out of his fucking chest.

 

 

Saeran went to brush his hair back out of pure instinct and Em slapped his hand away, _harshly_.

 

 

“Get on your knees.” Em stated, flatly.

 

 

Saeran fell down obediently at the speed of light and Em’s whole face lit up at this, _beautifully_.

 

 

They were completely out of view of their families. Saeran was so down to blow this motherfuc---

 

 

Saeran wasn’t quite sure what the fuck was happening next. His thoughts were too far in the gutter to process that Em was standing above him, laughing at him while he poured the entire bottle he had filled all over his head.

 

 

Cold water fell all down Saeran’s face, neck, back, fucking everywhere. It was a big bottle. And the fucker was doing it slowly while cackling.

 

 

Saeran absently thinks that even if it was the middle of winter right now that he still wouldn’t care.

 

 

When the water had finally stopped showering over him, Em threw the bottle behind him into dried out thorny bushes and he would definitely have Saeran fetch it later.

 

 

He kind of wanted to see blood coming out of the boy below him and it made him smile something that _should_ have looked sinister if Em didn’t look like the softest doll boy irl.

 

 

Most of the time, Em was long past feeling shame for his perversions. He was just _like this_. No one he had ever met could handle his brand of really fucked up ‘interests.’ Let alone how rudely he speaks to literally everyone.

 

 

There was something uncomfortable and ragingly suppressed when it came to Saeran though. Em could feel the walls around it crumbling away every day. Maybe his plan was fucking backfiring. It was a thing that had never happened to Em in his life.

 

 

Saeran was a fucking deviant. In every way possible.

_You’re so beautiful, Saeran._

 

 

Once Saeran had gone still and quiet, Em covered the kneeling boy’s eyes with one hand while pulling the hair at the back of his head sharply to force his face towards him.

 

 

Saeran legitimately thought he was about to die. He didn’t even care that his boner was like. Something that definitely couldn’t be mistaken for anything else at this point.

 

 

He jolted when he felt Em breathing against his lips. Saeran didn’t _dare_ escalate this. He was on his knees. He was being a good _quiet_ boy, not moving an inch. He was in for whatever Em would give him.

 

 

Like always.

 

 

Em spoke millimeters from Saeran’s parting lips in a whisper.

 

 

“You can’t handle me, Saeran.”

_If this was all a fucking tease just to tell me that_ , Saeran was thinking mid groan when—

 

 

Cold soft lips pressed against his.

_Oh my FUCKING GOD_. Saeran’s a mess, anyone with a brain could tell that if they could see him right now. If they could _hear_ him right now.

 

 

Suddenly daylight assaulted his eyes and Em was gone.

 

 

Like actually gone.

 

 

Saeran had blacked out again.

 

 

But he could still feel Em. Or what remained after he fucking vanished. The pain where his hair was pulled back, the warmth across his face where Em’s hand had been. And the sensation on his lips. Or maybe it was just all in his mind now; a precious newly formed memory. He brought his fingers up to his lips before breaking out in a giant wheezing smile. He let himself fall all the way down to the concrete, stretching out and staring up at the blue sky.

****

****

****

**_Em_** _. What the fuck_.

 

 

 

 


End file.
